Mother’s Day is around the corner and the blogosphere is spinning out the expected number of “rants”, “What I REALLY Want for Mother’s Day” posts and in general an all out cry against having to be moms on our sacred day.
I totally get this and agree with generally everything, especially Karen Alpert’s number 3 on her list: “I want to sleep in. But not with my hooligans shouting “MOMMYYYYYY!!!” at the top of their lungs and ramming one of those giant cannon thingies into the door to bust inside. To all the hubbies reading this: when the rugrats wake up, take them outside immediately. Not downstairs. OUTSIDE. That’s right, scoop them up in a football hold and rush them out the door.”
Actually, I feel like that every Saturday morning. And I’m ridiculously lucky because sometimes my husband actually does this.
But, when a woman gets pregnant and I hear other moms say “welcome to the sisterhood of the motherhood!” it always rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s well-meant, but was I left out of some cool club before I was a mom? In a way, yes…but why? We’re all women, we all have stories, goals, ambitions, struggles and challenges. For some, those struggles are the kids that tear apart our house, clothes, car, free time, etc.
For others, the challenge is not having kids to make Mother’s Day a special day at all. Unfortunately, I have too many friends who are fighting to have a baby. They are AMAZING women and someday they will also be the BEST moms in the world.
But Sunday? They’re just women. It’s not a holiday. So, before you think about leaving the kids behind for a day of alone time or wishing that for. just. once. your husband would get to the baby in a reasonable amount of time, thank God that you have a baby who makes you a mom.
I haven’t personally experienced this hardship, so I wanted to share some wise words from a woman in a group I’m part of on Facebook:
“Mother’s Day is coming up and I know there are at least a few women reading this who are struggling to get pregnant. No one thinks of these women on Mother’s Day because, well, they are not mothers. If you are lucky enough to not know what it feels like for Mother’s Day to be a slap in the face; if you’ve never had to undergo invasive tests and procedures and spend thousands of dollars for something that seems to happen naturally – even accidentally – for everyone else; if you’ve never loved a child that did not even exist yet – please be grateful you’ve never been through it and kind to those who are going through it. If you are trying, don’t give up or listen to what other people say (you’ll drive yourself crazy, you’ll go broke, just relax and it will happen, have you tried xyz, everything happens for a reason.. I could go on). They have not walked in your shoes – forgive their ignorance. Last Mother’s Day I was in your shoes and this year I am 5 months pregnant so miracles do happen. I never planned to share this but I figured it might help someone out there. You are not alone!”
Instead of celebrating the Sisterhood of the Motherhood, can we please celebrate the Sisterhood of the Sisterhood? If you have a better name for it, I’m all ears! There are wonderful things about all women! My friends who are moms are wonderful. My friends with no husband and no babies who are traveling the world and seeing God’s creation are inspiring. My friends who are battling to have children are warriors. Let’s celebrate each other, express gratitude for one another and lift each other up.
Ok, that was totally mushy, but hopefully you get the point. Try to be sensitive and remember the women who want nothing more than crumbs in their bed from a messy breakfast made by their own little people.