Community, Motherhood, Thoughts on life

Where I Was

There’s a scene in You’ve Got Mail (the best movie of all time) where Tom Hanks has to explain why he stood up Meg Ryan for their first meet-up. He entitles his email “Where I was” and then pathetically begins typing out excuses including, Vancouver, stuck in an meeting, etc.,

I haven’t been in Vancouver or stuck in a meeting that I couldn’t get out of. There’s nothing wrong with your email – you haven’t been missing any of my posts because I haven’t written in over a month. In that time:

  • I found out I am pregnant with a baby girl
  • We put our house on the market
  • We took our house off the market
  • I volunteered for a week of Vacation Bible School supervising 25 preschoolers
  • Big Brother completed two weeks of swim lessons
  • Little Brother discovered the power of language
  • Some people were shot by police
  • The 2016 Presidential election began keeping me up at night
  • The Olympics began

I have so many thoughts on all of these topics that I don’t know where to begin. Seriously. I have drafted this post over and over for way too long. Perhaps I should start at the beginning?

I’m due in February. The boys will be sharing a room and I’ve begun sorting through their clothes filtering out the shirts that have been worn by several children before they even graced our house and setting aside the nice button-downs I would not be ashamed to pass on to my friends. I’m getting more and more in touch with the fact that deep down, I am still a tomboy. When I was younger, I didn’t care about clothes, my hair or makeup. If you saw me today, you would probably agree that those feelings are still true.

Of course we are excited about our little girl. Ty tries to soothe my fears by telling me she’ll be just like me. Which is kind of my fear. I’m crazy. I mean, Ty knows this, I told him several times when we were dating so he would have some idea of what he was getting in to. He married me anyway. When I told him I was worried she’ll be like me he said “I know, but I like you!” So, there you have it, folks. The perfect husband.

Ty came up with a wacky idea to sell our house now that the market is better than it was when we bought it and we could actually make a profit. We hoped to pay off his loans and have enough for a down payment on a bigger house. It was a decision made in about a week and I was kind of a wreck about it. I love our house. I hate cleaning.

We prayed about it a lot and as usual, God answered in His own quirky way. The Department of Education called Ty out of the blue to ask why he hadn’t applied for the loan forgiveness program. He’s been working for the State of Florida for eight years and if he qualified, they’d pay it off in two years. So, we quickly took the house off the market. Voila!

I dreamed I was volunteering at VBS again, except it was the last day and none of the kids were obeying me and the whole schedule had been switched up. I was exasperated. Fortunately, my real-life week watching over 25 preschoolers went pretty well even though I was in my first trimester. I did not die. Every time I volunteer for some service project like this, I think I will be so exhausted that I won’t be able to function. And then I learn over and over, that it will not kill me. Kind of like child birth.

Big Brother is now swimming. Before his swim lessons, he was terrified of swimming without floaties. I was overjoyed to see him bounding around during his lessons, laughing, splashing and having a grand time. Since his lessons, I’ve been taking him to my mom’s house once a week to practice and last week he actually swam a few feet on his own under water. It was incredible.

Little Brother has a lot to say. We were watching the Olympic gymnastics qualifying competition the other night and whenever Simone Biles would bound across the mat he would say “Whoa! See that?” (Did you see that?) He randomly starts counting to 20 (thank you Sesame Street) and likes to identify everyone he knows as “nice”. “Gigi. Nice. Poppy. Nice. Goora. Nice. Pop. Nice. Tia. Nice. Ava. Nice,” and so on.

The main reason this blog has taken so long to write is because I really wanted to chat about the shootings that have happened in our country over the last several weeks. I’m heartbroken. I’m upset. I’m confused. I don’t really know where to begin. I had Ty read over my most recent draft and he pointed out many areas where I was perhaps misinformed. Or rather, that it is not beneficial to make sweeping statements and generalizations. As in, not all officers who make mistakes go back to work with a paid vacation. Some are asked to resign. There are investigations still underway for the men who were recently shot by police. There are investigations still underway for the police officers who were shot. It is all heartbreaking. While I am not one to “take to Twitter” or Facebook or wherever and spout off a thought or opinion, I still have thoughts. This is my blog, I’ll share some thoughts here. But with such a sensitive subject with so many caveats and unknowns, I would prefer to chat in-person. Perhaps with a computer handy to check facts.

There was about a week recently when the election kept me awake at night. It used to be human trafficking and I would plot out all the ways to get my kids back. Now, I’m drafting speeches for my candidacy. That’s right, I’m running for President*. I’ve decided that our country needs a healthy dose of integrity, honesty and humility. I’m nowhere near perfect, but I feel like our country needs someone…else.

Fortunately, the Olympics have begun and I’m feeling very patriotic and proud. I showed Big Brother Kerri Strug’s one-foot landing and I got choked up. We sat on the couch as Katie Ledecky swam to another amazing finish shouting “U-S-A! Gooo Katie!!” The boys have practiced doing their handstands, cartwheels and swim techniques. It makes my heart swell and I’m so grateful for the men and women who are representing our country with grace and excellence. I’m grateful for the example they are setting for my own children on how to persevere, do what is difficult and strive to be the best.

Love these girls!

I know I’ve been out of the blogging game for a few weeks but it’s not because I don’t have anything to say. Clearly. It’s because I’ve been napping every free minute I have. I’ve just inched in to my second trimester so I’m hoping to stay awake an extra 30 minutes during the boys’ nap time to chat about my pregnancy, the Olympics and maybe refine my platform for candidacy*.

Thanks for hanging out and checking in. I’d love to hear your thoughts on any of these topics. I get lots of spam comments, so I love hearing from real people 🙂

*Please do not write in my name for President.

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